Talk:You Are Not Alone/@comment-4441793-20140427232921
Ratchet Clew ending. They'll never last. Picture this, Drew and Clare, in their upper thirties, are sitting in the divorce attorney's office. LAWYER: So, Mr. and Mrs. Torres.... CLARE: It's still Ms. Edwards. Always has been. Always will be. LAWYER: Okay, pardon me. From my understanding, you two have reached a settlement and want to avoid court? CLARE and DREW: Yes. LAWYER: Perfect. Let's begin with basic questions. Do you have any children? CLARE and DREW: Yes. LAWYER: How many? DREW: Three. CLARE: TWO. LAWYER: Pardon me? DREW: The fuck you say? CLARE: Oh please, Drew, don't put on a performance for this attorney. Save the theatrics for after this toxic waste excuse for a marriage is resolved. As soon as I found out that I was pregnant with Aurora, I told you she wasn't yours and you even said she looked like Eli when she was born. DREW: Whatever. CLARE: Yeah, whatever. Honesty was never a problem for me when I did my share of dirt. Unlike your deceitful ass. LAWYER: So, I gather infidelity was mutual in this marriage? CLARE: Yes. DREW: Yeah but I didn't have BABIES by anyone else. CLARE: Not that you know of, you pompous, promiscuous pig. What about that blonde girl from Beverly Hills named Brittany? Her four year old is your son, according to her. DREW: Not my son. CLARE: What about Dallas's cousin Ebony? What about her daughter? DREW: Not mine either. CLARE: Oh and I guess the red-head Tiffany who used to work at Walmart didn't get knocked up by you either? DREW: NO. CLARE: (chuckles) Sir, he is such a liar! All of these women claim that he is the father of their kids and he refused to take a paternity test because he is too much of a COWARD to face the truth. DREW: They're fucking lying. I didn't father any of their kids! CLARE: Please! What would they have to gain from you as their "Baby Daddy"? You have no job, no money, except for what you try to con me out of. DREW: Oh, shut up! Last time I checked, I only had two kids with YOUR annoying ass, unfortunately. That's it. It could have been three had you not been such a hoe. CLARE: (angry laugh) Ha! Ha! Ha! HOE? You wanna go there, motherfucka? Nigga, do you really wanna take it there? I will embarass your triflin' ass in this fuckin' office. Try me! DREW: Oh, now you want to get ghetto? CLARE: Ya damn skippy, motherfucka. I was trying to be calm, professional, classy and carry myself as the 35-year old, Harvard-educated journalist that I am. But since you wanna push a bitch's buttons, I'mma let you have it up in here, nigga. DREW: Bitch, please... CLARE: Mr. Lawyer, check this dirty bastard out. One time, he was layin' up in the bed itchin' for a week. His dick burnin', that shit was stinkin' and he was still lazy to go to the fuckin' doctor. This is CANADA. Free healthcare, dumb ass. LAWYER: Good Lord.... DREW: (blushing) Clare, cut it out.... CLARE: ANYWAY, this dumb nigga finally goes to the doctor and finds out that he doesn't have an STI as logic would leave one to believe. NO. It was simply dried up, caked up fecal matter also known as SHIT, since Drew's too dumb to know big words, sucked all up inside his pee-pee because he was fucking some bitch raw up the ass and she didn't know how to wipe herself correctly. LAWYER: Eeeew. CLARE: I have about ten more stories to tell you! LAWYER: No, that's alright. DREW: Clare, how dare you? I may have cheated but I NEVER would have fucked any of my exes! CLARE: Nigga, that's because you couldn't even PAY Bianca, Katie or Zoe to have your sorry ass again! Those bitches were smart. They got the fuck outta dodge. I should have been smart but nooooo, my dumb ass stuck with you for all these fucking years cooking for your ass, cleaning for your ass, raising the kids, working to the bone, paying all the bills and letting you fuck me with your weak ass dick whenever you wanted to, even when you have done me WRONG as your wife. I walked into this office being a stupid ass bitch but I'm LEAVING this motherfucking office as a QUEEN. Drew got quiet; he was so embarassed. CLARE: I'm sorry for the scene I caused, Mister Lawyer. I had every intention on handling this case peacefully. But this stupid, ignorant, chump ass, bitch ass motherfucka wanna sit there talkin' shit and tryin' to throw shit up in my face like he's innocent. Fuck this nigga! I was nice to agree to let him have the house while I take the kids and buy a new home but I could leave his ass without a POT to piss in and no money whatsoever, and if he keep fucking talking, that's what the fuck I'm gonna do! DREW: I can take you to court. CLARE: You won't win, nigga. Try me. Drew got quiet again. CLARE: That's what the fuck I thought. Shut your mouth and let's get this over with, okay? Clare turns back to the lawyer and smiles brightly as if nothing happened.